“Some men like it, but Cold Mutton has wrecked many happy homes.”

-Blanche Ebbutt, “Don’ts For Wives”, A&C Black Ltd., London, 1913
ISBN: 9780713687903

Today I spent six hours attempting to make check marks programatically appear in some tiny boxes in a little grid. I can’t help thinking that this is a probably a waste of good heartbeats. Not living, just slowly dying.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – Jesus

When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

Three threads over December 2009 -January 2010 on Lavartus Prodeo (here’s number two) addressed the issue of assaults on Indian Students, mostly in Western Melbourne, but also other parts of Melbourne and Western Sydney.

Its Racism

The question is,’ said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
`The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master – - that’s all.’

The LP moderators who wrote or authorised the posts bluntly attribute the reason for these attacks to racism, despite the comments of Victorian Chief Of Police, Simon Overland, who said that while a number of the attacks were undoubtedly racist the bulk of the attacks were ‘opportunistic’

i.e. comprising robbery as the primary motive on the ’soft targets’ of Indian students, mostly slight of stature, known to carry cash , iPods, laptops and mobile phones, walking or travelling alone to and from late night shifts as taxi drivers and service station and late-night convenience store attendants in low socio-economic area suburbs.

..which sounds to me eminently plausible.

Circumstances Are Irrelevant: Its Racism

While the LP moderators and contributors acknowledge the relatively risky profile of the work activities of Indian students they absolutely refuse to factor that circumstantial risk profile into their characteristaion of the attacks as racist.

Rather, the LP team say that the Indian students are forced to engage in high-risk jobs by a set of laws and practices which produce a disproportionately high incidence assault on Indian students. Since the Indian students self-evidently constitute a racial group and the attacks are concentrated on this racial group, the LP commentators state the set of laws and practices which cause these assaults are ipso facto racist.

Specifically, these laws and practices are an example of Structural Racism.

The Structurally Racist Laws Causing Indian Students To Be Bashed

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. `They’ve a temper, some of them — particularly verbs, they’re the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs — however, I can manage the whole of them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!’

`Would you tell me, please,’ said Alice `what that means?`

The supposed racist structures that cause Indian students to be bashed were enumerated by Mark Bahnsich
in this post

Mark enumerates the following: The 20 hr per week limitation on foreign students, the requirement of foreign students to fulfill work experience requirements in their courses, incomplete, misleading or poorly researched information propogated private colleges and (Indian) education agents, that only low-skill employment opportunities are open to foreign students despite the fact they may already have foreign qualifications, negligent regulation of the private education sector, the fact that Indian students come to Australia with little money, the fact that Indian students are unfamiliar with our legal and bureaucratic system, , the fact that Australian-run private educators and the fact that Indian students are unfamiliar with the cultural, safety and social aspects of Western Melboune or Sydney.

Reading through Mark’s list, it is apparrent that not one of these laws and practices is framed with racist intent or motivation, a fact readily acknowledged by the LP commentators. That fact, however, is regarded as irrelevant.

It does not matter to them that the set of laws and practices faced by Indian students is not framed with racist intent, only that the combined effect of such laws and practices forces Indian students to take low-paying jobs in risky socio-economic areas and thus they get exposed to thugs and criminals and get bashed.

For the LP commentariat Structural Racism can exist without racist intention or motivation.

For me this is a lunacy worthy of Humpty-Dumpty from Alice In Wonderland, who, you may remember, assigned meanings to words based on his own personal whim and preference and for his own transient enjoyment.

Miracle Cure For Racism Discovered

`Now you talk like a reasonable child,’ said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. `I meant by “impenetrability” that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.’

`That’s a great deal to make one word mean,’ Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

`When I make a word do a lot of work like that,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `I always pay it extra.’

`Oh!’ said Alice.

Mark Bahnsich and his supporters provide a number of solutions for what they consider the deeply-ingrained xenophobic gene in Australian society. They mostly boil down to one thing: give Indian students more money – then they wont have to take the aforesaid risky jobs and put themselves in the way of thugs.

Consequently the LP team recommend giving Indian students Cab Vouchers, providing subsidized or free student housing, ask or require them to bring more money with them, relax or abolish the 20 Hr per week work limitation and abolishing or amending their work experience requirements.

Its is a strange sort of racism that can be cured merely by providing money to the victims.

To my mind, this Miracle Cure indicates very clearly that the problem is not racism, but one of wealth. Its a poverty issue not atypical of that facing students of every nationality including locals, not a problem of racism which persists despite the persecuted group having money or not (e.g ‘rich Jew’ anti-Semitism).

If Its Not Racism Then What Is It ?

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

`That’s enough to begin with,’ Humpty Dumpty interrupted: `there are plenty of hard words there. “Brillig” means four o’clock in the afternoon — the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.’

Indan students are being attacked for precisely the reasons Vic. Police say they are: opportunistic attacks on soft targets icarrying valuable items in risky areas at risky times of night while travelling alone. What puts them in harm’s way is a their relative poverty. Therefore the problem is far better called ‘Structural Poverty’, not ‘Structural Racism’. The fact the problem can be cured by applying money is a clear indicator of its true cause.

Over Eager

`I see it now,’ Alice remarked thoughtfully: `and what are “toves”?’

`Well, “toves” are something like badgers — they’re something like lizards — and they’re something like corkscrews.’

Many on the left are over eager to identify racism. This is a result of the volumes of leftist literature that portray (Imperialist) Capitalism as inherently racist and sexist. This ideological inertia predisposes leftists to enthusiastically identify racism even where it does not exist.

Here follow two examples of leftist ideological polemic which illustrate how the understanding of the interconnection between Capitalism, Racism and Sexism is described in varying levels of correlation.

First, From CLASS STRUGGLE, CAPITALISM AND THE STATE by The Workers Solidarity Federation an Anarchist/Syndicalist organisation which believes in a revolution by the workers and the poor to establish Stateless Socialism.

Class struggle does not ignore sexism, racism etc.: insofar as the majority of people who are affected by these oppressions (and who are also affected the worst by these oppressions) are working class, insofar as these oppressions are rooted in the capitalist system, and insofar as the working class can only be united and mobilised on the basis of opposing all oppression, these issues are all class issues. It is impossible to mobilise the working class without dealing with all the issues that affect the working class. That is to say, the class struggle can only succeed if it is anti-racist, anti-sexist etc.

Second, from Defying corporations, Defining Democracy

In one sense, capitalism is not inherently racist or sexist – corporations are happy to exploit anyone in the drive for profit. But owners and managers have used racism to divide workers and solidify control, and sexism has been important in keeping certain jobs associated with women or “women’s work” (such as the expanding customer service sector) low paying. Those stories are also an integral part of the history of the corporation.

Examples could be easily multiplied.

Indian Students Are Divided As To Cause

While the LP moderators are insistent that Structural Racism is the cause of the attacks, a significant minority of Indian students, like Vic. Police, assign the cause to Opportunism.

Of course this does not contradict the Structural Racism hypothesis because Structural Racism is said to explain the preconditions for the attack, not the attack itself, which thus still permits the attacks to be bluntly described as racist even though robbery or thuggery may be acknowledged as the primary motive by Leftist analysts.

To my mind, this is a lovely way of having your explanation and eating it too as the emotive and unnuanced appellation of racism with all its accusatory power can be levied at Australian (Capitalist) society while the highly jargonized term of Structural Racism is employed as covering fire when the racist motivation is questioned.

Indian student Ruchir Punjabi, former President of the University Of Sydney Student Union, made the interesting comment that that portrayal of the attacks as racist was a distraction for the severe problems besetting private foreign education in Australia.

In this way he was drawing attention to many of the problems identified by Mark Bahnsich around the largely unregulated flow of under-resourced and under-advised Indian students into Australia which has led to a more than tripling of Indian student numbers in Australia between 2004 and 2009. As an informed Indian student national with intimate knowledge of Australian society and culture he has an unusually well-rounded perspective and does not cry ‘Racist!’

Anglos Are Largely Not Perpetrating The Bashings

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated this verse, and Alice thought with a shudder, `I wouldn’t have been the messenger for anything!’

The testimony of the Indian students is that the attacks are largely perpetrated by Immigrant, non-Anglo groups. The attacks on Sydney’s Indian nationals are described by the victims themselves as coming from Lebanese youths:

Macquarie University student Mukul Khanna, called back home by his worried parents: “A lot of my Pakistani friends have left the place after being brutally attacked and robbed . . . Interestingly, the attackers are mostly not locals and are themselves people of foreign origin.

In Melbourne (same link as previous) This year between May 8 and August 2 there were 12 reported robberies on taxi drivers in Flemington, Moonee Ponds and Ascot Vale. “Police will not officially acknowledge any particular ethnic group is a target, or that any other group is carrying out the crimes. But in every case the victims told police their attackers were African . . .”

In The Guardian:

Pulok: The media is giving a false impression of this – it could have been any ethnic group that actually did this. Last year it was bunch of Somali guys smashing up an Indian shop in Sunshine [a suburb three kilometres to the west] and bashing the owner. But you see all kinds of people not in their senses on the street and they can be dangerous.

Rav: There are new migrants in this area from all over the place and not having much money is a big contributing factor. Indians usually find it much easier to find jobs (even if they’re not great jobs) than a lot of the African guys, so that probably causes some resentment.

While the fact that Anglo attackers are in the minority is acknowledged by the LP commentariat, this (fairly enough) is also regarded as irrelevent, but does not deter some commentators from explaining the racist nature of the attacks with reference to Australia’s Constitution, the White Australia Policy of 1908 (approx.) and pre-WW2 attitudes to Aboriginals and non-European persons in general as they hunt out teh various mainfestations of Australia’s ‘deeply-ingrained’ xenophobia

…all of which of couse is only germane to Anglo Australia and completely irelevant to the Lebanese youth gangs of Western Sydney, the Somali gangs of Melbourne or the mixed ethnicity cohorts of unemployed friends that are actually perpetrating the attacks with minority Anglo input.

Once again the predisposition to critique (White) Western Capitalist societies interferes with the ability of some leftists to discuss this issue objectively.

So What Should Be Done ?

In the short term I agree with the LP team. Give late-night workers Cab Vouchers, provide Student Accommodation, better policing, better lighting, everything possible should be done. We differ only on the description of the problem, not its severity or victims.

Its a poverty issue, not a race issue

In the medium-term, the repulsively negligent oversight of overseas student education should be addressed with primary attention on requiring overseas students to come to Oz with more money. The problem will then magically disappear and Australia will no longer be (structurally) racist.

I would retain the 20 Hr work week minimum as a sensible limitation on foreign students and also retain the work experience requirement for qualifications.

To conclude, more poetry from the incomparable Humpty-Dumpty:

I took a corkscrew from the shelf:
I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but — ‘

There was a long pause.

`Is that all?’ Alice timidly asked.

`That’s all,’ said Humpty Dumpty. Good-bye.’

Yorkshire Ranter turfed out a brilliant piece of almost history courtesy of the British Government release of papers under the 30 year rule: Margaret Thatcher proposed to Malcom Fraser that a Phillipine or Indonesian Island be bought for the purposes of settlement of Vietnamese Boat People, but this was vetoed by Lee Kuan Yew

The papers, released at the National Archives today, show that [Margaret Thatcher's] reluctance to take in any of the Vietnamese boat people led to her making a proposal to the Australian prime minister, Malcolm Fraser, that they jointly buy an Indonesian or Philippine island “not only as a staging post but as a place of settlement” for them all. This proposal was blocked by Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, who feared it might become a “rival entrepreneurial city”.

Did Johnny Howard learn something from Mrs. Thatcher ?

Read the original Ranter post Thatchergrad-On-Sea for heaps more background and information on how to get a copy of the official British Government document and also because Yorkshire Ranter is always a terrific read.

The story also appeared in The Guardian On Dec 30 last decade, Margaret Thatcher Reluctant To Give Boat People Refuge In Britain.

The Source

I wrote to the author of a companion article on the Guardian piece which includes the same exchange between Thatcher and Fraser and asked him for a file reference.

The companion article is “Papers released under 30 year rule reveal full force of Thatcher’s fury” by Alan Travis.

Mr Travis was kind enough t provide the following information

After talking to my colleague, Owen Bowcott, who was at the national archives with me for the press event, We think that the offshore island suggestion is mentioned in the Downing Street file dealing with Margaret Thatcher’s meeting with Malcolm Fraser during this period rather than the defence and overseas policy committee minutes.

That is Prem 19/2.

PREM 19/2 is the file related to Mrs.Thatcher’s visit to Australia in May 1979 and other correspondence with Fraser. It is also not in Documents Online.

Meanwhile I note Fraser’s denials of knowledge of the proposal come in two versions:

In version 1, broadcast on the ABC December 31 2009 he said “It might not be accurate”

It may not be accurate,” he said.

“If it happened it might have been dismissed before it ever got to me. Certainly it wasn’t something that was considered seriously by the Government.”

In version 2 published in The Age of December 31 he said ‘’I’ve got absolutely no recollection of it. ”

’’I’ve got absolutely no recollection of it. ”
I’ve got a fairly good memory for what happened at the time,’’ Mr Fraser said yesterday

I am not convinced Fraser knew nothing but I am fairly sure he didn’t entertain the proposal seriously. I’ll leave this as a backburner project and try and find someone who has read the relevant files from the UK and Oz.

Stoush

A recent Larvatus Prodeo thread on the demise of the recent Copenhagen Climate Change talks bought out a few denialists eager to dance on the grave of COP15 and by extension (in their minds) the AGW hypothesis, now estimated at > 90% certainty by the IPCC.

We had a good stoush. It was like the old Usenet days.

SIM City

Denialist A said that AGW was hokum and that Global Warming was explained by the Solar Intertial Motion hypothesis. I had great fun researching and refuting that argument, especially as Denialist A like Pilger, provided a list of references to support his argument, which references actually contradicted it.

Many thanks to Skeptical Science, a brilliant pro-AGW web site for posting the relevant references and summarizing them.

Denialist B

Denialist B was much more extreme than his offsider. To my amazement he actually wrote that the planet would not be worth saving if Climate Change mitigation led to a One World Government.

This is beyond the infamous Vietnam War insanity of the US Major who commented that it was necessary to destroy the provincial capital of Ben Tre, killing who knows how many, in order to save it… from becoming Communist. Denialist B is actually willing to let the whole planet become uninhabitable in order to “save it” from Communism.

Here’s his quote:

if it meant the end of democracy, the surrender of national sovereignties, the universal hegemony of the UN and its dutiful scientists, it’d be worth it, wouldn’t it, to save the planet?

No. It. Wouldn’t.

A more extreme position is unimaginable.

The Truth Behind Climate Change

Both D1 and D2 provided the same explanation for why AGW is the dominant viewpoint in Climate Change Science: A Leftist Fascist neo-Pagan cabal has utilised the research of greedy/fraudulent/compliant/frightened Climatologists to produce a Climate Change scare with the objective of forcing a One World Government. The full version appears below complete with fuzzy timeline and a cast of reprehensible characters.

I don’t think AGW is a conspiracy. I think it started innocently enough, around 20 years ago, as a hypothesis which seemed, at that time, to have potential legs. The world was warming, and it was feasible that humna activity had something to do with it. There were problems from the beginning. For example, some scientists objected that the AGW models did not take into account the behaviour of clouds, which were known to have profound effects on climate, but about whose dynamics almost nothing was known. From the start, too, there were suspicions (I certainly shared them) that the whole thing was a glossed-up post-modern version of medieval apocalyptic: we have sinned (against the new God, nature); we are being punished; we must repent our sins; else we will die. In short, a modern version of the sandwich-board man, who wears on his front the message, ‘The End is Nigh’, and on his back, ‘Repent Ye of Your Sins’.

The Greens, and more broadly the radical (i.e. non-rational) left, were eager and early adopters. They had been dismayed by the failure of the 20th century’s light on the hill – socialism – as evidenced by the collapse of the Soviet Union and, later, its unfortunate victim/satellites. They needed another beacon to light on another hill to demonstrate just how bad for us capitalism really is, if we only but realised it. If socialism wouldn’t do it, what would? The AGW hypothesis, appearing at exactly the right historical moment, was fully fit for purpose. So, enthusiastically, they built the bandwagon, and piled on board.

After ten years, the engine – ‘the science’ – ran out of puff. The world stopped warming. What on earth to do? The bandwagon had grown to gargantuan proportions, and was obviously unstoppable. But the tracks had faded out, or the road was occluded by mist. I’ll give the CRU scientists the benefit of the doubt. Some of them, at least, were genuinely dismayed. They recognised that they had built a house of cards, and the unsympathetic winds of reality were picking at its edges. A young and immature science – climatology – had emerged from obscurity, been hugely funded as the world’s salvator, and now, doggone it, it had all gone terribly wrong. Careers built were going to be ruined; funding, once secure, was in peril; whole departments and power bases, built from the sand that now appeared to be AGW, might be de-institutionalised. ClimateGate broek – and was desperately ignored. Political leaders had nailed their colours to the AGW mast – what would happen to them? The answer was: press on regardless. The result? Copenhagen, where all the skeins unravelled.

Myth

Looking at the explanation in summary and totality I wondered what the genre of the story was and if any others existed like it. Gatekeepers of the dominant paradigm in societies, groups and ages past have continuously suffered assaults on their privilege, comfort and ideological certainty. There must be quite a library of similarly outrageous ‘explanations’.

A quick Google gave me the answer, which should have been obvious. The genre of D2’s story is myth

As this extract from ‘Social and Cultural Anthropology: The Key Concepts’ by Rapport and Overing explains, following Durkheim, the function of myth is not to convey metaphysical truth, but to

reinforce social cohesion and unity by presenting and justifying traditional order

So, while the content of the myth may be ‘irrational and untrue’, even though related to some social reality, the purpose of the myth and its symbols is to maintain a given social order.

The myth presented in this post, the work of AGW denialists – i.e. that AGW is the product of a Leftist, Fascist neo-pagan plot in conjunction with greedy, fraudulent and/or frightened Climatologists – is a superb example of such myth making.

Existential Death

AGW is a death threat to Capitalism as a doctrinal system.

For those who have fully invested themselves into the belief that Capitalism is the best of all political systems, the possibility that it might be invalidated by any consideration is deeply emotionally and psychologically unsettling. That a Green cause, Climate Change, might be the proximate cause of the invalidation of Capitalism is, for the true believers, literally unthinkable, because Green Parties have always been regarded by them as hypocritical, irrational and unrealistic.

The death of Capitalism for so many represents a death of self, because of the intensity of their belief in the Capitalist system.

No-one wants to die.

So AGW must be denied.

Hence the development of myth to explain why the social order must stay exactly as it is with Capitalism the dominant paradigm and Green issues relegated to the fringe. And that’s why these myths emphasise the received truths about Green Parties – their hypocrisy, irrationality and so on.

That the myths should intensely disparage Communism and Socialism is also to be expected as these were considered defeated and discredited foes following the collapse of Eastern European Communism. It is shocking beyond acceptance to the believers that the true faith of Capitalism should again have to face a challenge from Statists who advocate centralised international action on Climate Change such as that discussed at COP15.

So AGW is not accepted. No matter the Science.

No matter anything.

As a result of comments in this thread at Lavartus Prodeo, I have been Googling Solar Inertial Motion. Discussion on it is not easy to find outside anti-AGW websites.

The application of Solar Interial Motion (SIM) to Climate Change is a work of the Australian scientist, recently deceased, Rhodes Fairbridge

After some poking around, I found that SIM is a particular case of the Sunspot explanation for climate change, i.e. that changes in Solar Output explain Global Warming and Cooling.

Here’s Fairbridge in his article The “Solar Jerk”, The King-Hele Cycle,and the Challenge to Climate Science”

“… a planet revolving about the Sun in its “Keplerian” elliptical orbit delivered no energetic jolt to the Sun’s photosphere, such as might explain the episodic growth of sunspots.

But when two planets are involved, as the faster one passes the slower one, there is briefly a combined gravitational effect that is felt by each of the planets, and more importantly, by the Sun itself. This is not a tide (which is minuscule), but a torque.

The outer, gaseous layers of that star have a low viscosity that is susceptible to any change in the angular momentum…”

…so causing sunspots.

Fairbridge’s work is briefly discussed in comments on the pro-AGW WebSite Skeptical Science in the post “Global cooling: the new kid on the block” with contributions by a proponent of SIM. The Skeptical Science moderator responds:

… Fairbridge’s work but the general gist is that the alignment of the planets affects the sun’s angular velocity which affects solar output…the question of whether solar output is driving global warming has been thoroughly analysed.

and links to a page with this summary, well-known to anyone with an interest in the AGW debate:

Solar activity has shown little to no long term trend since the 1950’s. Consequently, any correlation between sun and climate ended in the 1970’s when the modern global warming trend began.

From the above it appears that the reason SIM is not in lively discussion is that it is already discredited. Solar forcings do not correlate to recent temperature data. CO2 does.

I have noticed the same effect when I Google for programming helps. If I can’t easily Google what I want to do, chances are I’m going up the wrong track. SIM looks to be in the same category.

As a result of a conversation on another blog I was motivated to Google for the following scientific hypothesis:

The “popping into being” idea is that the probability of a universe popping into being is not (quite) zero, therefore it’s gonna happen.

Its One Of Hawking’s

Hawking explains the “popping into being” theory in “Stephen Hawking Says Universe Created From Nothing” (2007)

It’s an entertaining read. The theory is based on work done by:

Richard Feynman a brilliant physicist at the California Institute of Technology. He proposed that a system got from a state A, to a state B, by every possible path or history.

Each path or history, has a certain amplitude or intensity, and the probability of the system going from A to B, is given by adding up the amplitudes for each path. There will be a history in which the moon is made of blue cheese, but the amplitude is low

Come Again ?

So non-existence is posited merely as a state which can be moved freely from or to and this movement is achieved by traversing all possible paths, including the one in which Invisble Pink Unicorns tap dance on tables at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. You are expected to take this seriously, even once you swallow the concept of non-existence as a valid state.

Non-existence as a state is a logical contradiction. Its like asking where you want the immovable object put.

Hawking goes on:

The picture Jim Hartle and I developed, of the spontaneous quantum creation of the universe, would be a bit like the formation of bubbles of steam in boiling water.

The idea is that the most probable histories of the universe, would be like the surfaces of the bubbles. Many small bubbles would appear, and then disappear again. These would correspond to mini universes that would expand, but would collapse again while still of microscopic size. They are possible alternative universes, but they are not of much interest since they do not last long

As I understand this, Hawking is talking about the expansion of the Universe fom a singularity. Which seems to me that Hawking wants to have his Invisible Pink Unicorn and eat it too. If the Universe is non-existent, where did the singularity come from ?

Perhaps I misunderstand the article. I am happy to be corrected.

Science. Yairs. *Cough*

So there you have “popping into being”. As might be expected from an untestable and highly entertaining idea from the realms of pure creativity it is full of preposterous nonsense and downright contradiction.

But because this fairy story is labelled “Science” many swallow it without bothering to read the fine print. And for many on the Left, or fanatical atheists like Stepehn Hawking and Richard Dawkins, anything that ejects God from the room is axiomatically justified.

Season’s Gruntings.

As Christmas roars toward us I am reminded of the cheapest box of Christmas Cards I ever purchased. I am a cheapskate and love digging around for specials of say 800 Christmas cards for $1.50 – that would be ideal. So I buy such a box and start happily posting them off, admiring their awful quality and designs only tangentially related to Christmas, when one stopped me in my tracks.
The design was a bunch of animals playing in a playground sliding down slippery-dips, bouncing on trampolines etc. There was a Walrus, a Penguin, a Bear and maybe a Fish. It was as if a Birthday card for a two-year old had been mislabelled “Merry Christmas”.

Next day the penny dropped. The animals were all the kinds of animals you would find at the North Pole…where Santa lives…so that was the connection to Christmas. It was a generic “things associated with ice” card.

I am looking for this year’s set which I’m told feature Russian Nuclear Powered Submarines surfing through fields of anchovies.

Merry Christmas!

My son celebrated his 4th Birthday recently and his aunty gave him the collected stories of Winnie The Pooh by A. A. Milne. What a delight those stories are: whimsical, humorous, tender, with a keen eye of love for the emotions, thoughts and imaginitive life of Christopher Robin, A. A. Milne’s amaneusis and 5 year old son.

A. A. Milne And Me

As I read the adventures of Winnie The Pooh I immediately recognised them as Milne’s equivalents of the stories I tell my own son. In the same way my boy says, “Daddy, tell me a story about how Cheetah went to play at his friend’s house” and I say “Ah..yeah..sure…Lessee…One day Cheetah woke up and [spies stuffed Parrot] rang Parrot on his Mobile Phone and said [spies Lego action figure] Hawk-Man needs our help to find a big chocolate crocodile…[etc]“, I recognised Milne’s characters and plot as the spontaneous creation of a Father’s bed-time stories.

And I was delighted to find that, like the literary legend Milne, I injected my son as a character into my stories the same way he did.

All Dads Do It

Recognising the fraternity of Dads and Christopher Robins worldwide I don’t think Milne would be insulted to have my own family’s bedtime stories recounted next to his. So here goes:

Bob The Bandicoot’s Messing Up Machine

Bob The Bandicoot (this character’s species plagiarised from ‘The Magic Pudding’) lived in the sandhills not far from the Bunnies carrot patch. (The Bunnies in the sandhills are long-time bedtime story characters from a camping trip we did to Bulli Caravan Park where rabbits live in profusion).

Bob is an inventor and loves to make machines. One day, looking around at the mess in his shed he said “I know, I’ll build a tidying-up machine”. So he got a whole lot of metal, old engines, fish hooks, blades from an old fan and lots of string and built a tidying up machine. Then he put the batteries in and turned in on. ‘Hoot-Hoot!’ went the machine. (This Noise plagiarised from Professor Branestawm’s Automatic Bowling Machine)

‘Hello, tidying up machine’ said Bob. ‘Could you please tidy up all my nails ?”
“NO!” said the tidying up machine and he stomped his legs and took his remote control off Bob Bandicoot and put it in his pocket. Then he tipped out all the nails, pushed over the cupboars full of metal, took the milk out of the fridge and poured it on the ground and got the string and tied it all up into knots. Then he went stomping out of the shed and ran off into the sandhills.

‘Oh no’ said Bob Bandicoot, ‘The Messing Up Machine is headed for the bunnies burrow. I better tell Mr. Crocodile.’ So he rang up Mr. Crocodile straight away.

RING-RING went the phone in Mr. Crocodile’s house. ‘Who is it ?’ said Mr. Crocodile.
‘It’s me, Bob Bandicoot’, said Bob Bandicoot. My tidying up machine is all cranky and he messed up my shed and now he’s going over to the Bunnies’ carrot patch. Can you please help ?
‘Sure thing’ said Mr. Crocodile ‘I’ll be right over’ And he got straight in his bus and but some strong rope in it and went driving off to the Bunnies Burrow.

Just then the Bunnies were having breakfast.
“White Bunny, ” said Mummy Bunny, “can you please go up to our patch and bring back two nice carrots for our breakfast ?”
“Sure thing” said White Bunny and he went up the burrow to the surface but as he got near the top of his burrow he heard a terrible big noise outside. White Bunny carefully stuck up his whiskers and nose and had a peek. Oh No! The Messing-Up Machine was getting his hooks and pulling up all the Bunnies’ carrots and throwing them around and making a huge mess! White Bunny went straight back down his burrow. “Mummy, a big machine is hooking up all our carrots and throwing them around and making a big mess!” “Hmmm. I know ” said Mummy Bunny, “I will call Mr. Crocodile”

RING-RING went Mr. Crocodile’s phone again.
“Who is it ?”, said Mr. Crocodile.
“Its Mummy Bunny”, said Mummy Bunny “A nasty big Messing Up Machine is wrecking all our carrots and throwing them everywhere. Can you please come over and help ?”
“I’m already on my way” said Mr. Crocodile, “I’ll just be a few minutes”

“Brmmm-whz-bang-toot-toot-POP! (This noise plagiarized from Madness, 80’s Two-tone Ska band “I Go Driving In My Car”) went Mr. Crocodile’s bus as it came to a stop outside the Bunnies Burrow. “Hello there, Bunnies, I’m here. Can I come in ? Where’s the Messing Up Machine ?”
“Over there in our carrot patch” said White Bunny
Mr. Crocodile got out his binoculars and had a look. The Messing Up Machine was still throwing carrots everywhere and making a huge mess.

“Hmmm.” said Mr. Crocodile. “I Know what to do. Let’s build a big hole and make Messing Up Machine fall in.”
So the Bunnies began to did with their paws because they have big paws and are very good at digging burows and holes. And Mr. Crocodile began to dig too because he can dig holes in the muddy river bank, so he swished his big tail and helped the bunnies dig a big hole.

“Now let’s cover it with sticks and branches” said Mr. Crocodile “so the Messing Up Machine can’t see it”. So the bunnies and Mr. Crocodile got stcks and branches from the trees in the sandhills and covered up the hole.

When the hole was ready, Mr.Crocodile whistled to the Messing Up Machine. “Hey machine! Come over here. Here’s some crunchy carrots you missed”
The Messing Up Machine stopped throwing carrots and went stomping towards Mr. Crocodile. “Give me those crunchy carrots!” he said.
“No, said Mr. Crocodile, “you come and get them”
So the Messing Up Machine came stomping over but when he stepped on the sticks, what happened ? Yes, he fell in the big hole with a big CRASH!!

“Now” said Mr. Crocodile, “give me back your remote control”.
“NO!” said the Messing Up Machine. And he stomped and went HOOT-HOOT and smoke came out his ears.
“OK” said Mr. Crocodile “you stay in the hole then”

Messing Up Machien stayed in the hole a long time and then it began to rain and all the sand at the bottom of the hole turned into sticky mud.
“Aww.” said the Messing Up Machine “I don’t like this mud. I’ve been a naughty machine” and he called out for Mr. Crocodile “HOOT-HOOT. Mr Crocodile!”

“Yes ?” said Mr.Crocodile/
“I’ve been a naughty machine ” said the Tidying Up Machine “I want to be good now and be helpful. Can I come out the hole now ?” And he gave Mr. Crocodile back his remote control with one of his big hooks.
“Yes you can said Mr. Crocodile” and he got the strong rope and tied one end to his bus and the other end to the tidying-up machine. Then get started his bus “Brrm-BRRM-Whiz-Bang-Toot-Toot-POP!” went the big engine and then the bus pulled the Tidying-Up Machine out of the hole”.

“Sorry” said the Tidying-Up Machine and he went back to Bob Bandicoot’s shed and put all the nails back in their tray, wiped up all the Milk with with a superwipe, picked up the cupboards and used his hooks to get all the knots out of the string.

Then he sat down and had a nice drink of oil and petrol and two bananas and four pieces of toast and a chocolate biscuit for tea.

======== The End ============

Symbols And Their Meanings

The story is about obedience and discipline
Messing Up Machine: A toddler or small child.
Mr. Crocodile: Daddy

Others In The Series

How White Bunny Turned Green And Then Turned White Again.
Cheetah Goes On Holiday

Maximum Nasty

Here’s an incident from the 2001 Federal Election that shows John Howard’s nastiness to maximum effect. Specifically, it shows how Howard incited racially-linked fear and prejudice in the electorate for political advantage.

I record it here as a way of giving more publicity to the insidious poison that Howard leached into the mainstream during his tenure as Prime Minister. Truly a nasty little era.

The incident is related in Mungo MacCallum, ‘Political Anecdotes’, 2003, p. 274, the original source being Peter Charlton in Solomon (ed.) Howard’s Race (2002) pp. 127-128.

The Terror Of The Boat People

“As Tom Allard of the SMH reported after the election, ‘It was past deadline for most papers so The Courier-Mail’s political editor Dennis Atkins had his laptop computer open and was showing his fellow reporters the front page splash the Brisbane newspaper was running the next morning. The article…began: “Australia had no way to be certain terrorists, or people with terrorist links, were not among the asylum seekers trying to enter the country by boat from Indonesia, Prime Minister John Howard said

The article went on to say that Howard had linked terrorism and Australia’s border protection stance for the first time. It paraphrased Howard comparing the current situation with the end of World War II, when Nazi war criminals had slipped into Australia.

As Howard passed by, Atkins showed the story to him. ‘Good’ Howard said, ‘Excellent’

‘Excellent’. Yes in a hateful kind of fear-mongering way. Howard’s definition of excellent.

Let’s Give That Another Run

Samantha Maiden of The Australian recalled the Atkins article in her piece ‘Terrorists On Boats Claim Date Back To Howard” in Oct. 2009 as she reports on the shameless Wilson Tuckey rehashing the old bile in relation to contemporary Sri Lankan Tamil refugees.

Record Muslim Immigration Under Howard

It is sometimes claimed that Howard cannot be racist and does not hate Muslims because a record number of Muslims entered Australia under conventional immigration programs during his tenure and Howard did not ban or compromise Federal Funding of Islamic schools (e.g Paul Sheehan Still a Land Of Fair Go Despite Fabrications) To my mind the facts referred to by Howard’s defenders only succeed in making Howard’s culpability worse.

Howard does not specifically detest Muslims more than he does against any other non-Anglo (apart from his general mistrust of any non-Anglo or less than fully assimilated aussified immigrant), except that Muslims are associated with 9/11. But Howard actually knows that the vast majority of Muslims are as sensible, peaceful and law-abiding as anybody else.

So Howard is 95% as content to allow Muslims to immigrate to Australia as any other low wages immigrant. After all Immigrants are a necessary part of Australia’s low wages unskilled and semi-skilled economy. Anglos on the whole are too proud to clean toilets or take comparable low wage, low status jobs. Business needs these people and Howard is a servant of the Business class.

But when convenient Howard uses Muslims as community scapegoats for political purposes. In other words Howard uses people as objects of his ambition. People are instrumental vehicles to him, means to ends. He doesn’t hate Muslims or Chinese particularly. He’ll just use abuse, discard, embrace, scapegoat, or exalt them in whatever form serves the interests of J. Howard Esq.

And that’s an offence against basic decency.

Why Australia Is Obliged To Accept Refugees

Boat people, however, are not conventional immigrants. They are refugees. Refugees have internationally-recognised legal status under The United Nations Refugee Convention of 1951 to which Australia is a signatory. Because we signed the convention, we are obliged to accept refugees.

[T]he term ‘refugee’ shall apply to any person who…owing to a well-founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his [sic.] nationality and is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself of the protection of that country.
- Refugee Convention, Article 1(A)(2)

As Robert Manne explained in his excellent essay from 2004“Sending Them Home” The United Nations Refugee Convention of 1951 was created as a consequence of the fate of Jews before World War 2 and displaced persons immediately following World War 2. Jews unable to flee, or returned to, Nazi Germany were of course liquidated. As Stalinism spread across Eastern Europe similar tragedies occurred with many innocent persons seeking to escape totalitarian rule.

Thus the convention was created as an act of good conscience by nations supporting liberal democratic principles and basic justice and humanity.

Thus recognized, Howard’s de-facto rejection of the 1951 Refugee Convention is an act of a deeply mean spirit. And Howard’s specific comments above, where those fleeing totalitarianism are themselves described as the totalitarians, represent an inversion of the humanitarian spirit of the treaty. This is disgusting enough; but when we remember that Howard does this purely for political expediency we have come face-to-face with a souless man.

Howard’s Bare Point

Howard is a sneaky and deceitful person. And like all sneaks he uses even the truth where expedient to try to deceive. Yes, some Nazi’s did conceal themselves amongst the tide of legitimate refugees in order to escape justice, but to use this bare point as a justification for towing all refugess boats into the open sea is to focus on the gnat in the herd of camels. In usual form Howard is using fear to manipulate the electorate. That use of xenophobix fear for political purposes, so typical of Howard, is contemptible.