Polar bears that drift ashore on Iceland should be shot and not offered a safe haven, a commission recommended on Tuesday.
The commission was appointed this summer after two polar bears landed on the northern coast of Iceland apparently after being swept to sea on ice floes from Greenland, several hundred kilometres away…Commission head Mr Johansson Howvargg (sic) said the recommendation was based on the fact that polar bears pose a potential threat to humans and were not in immediate danger in Greenland.
In further news, Iceland’s Minister for the Environment and Border Security, Mr Johansson Howvargg, said
“UnIcelandic, queue-jumping Polar Bears pose a manifest threat to decent society. Any one of them could be a terrorist. That is why they are humanely subjected to an indefinite period of mental torture and then shot. We have been swamped with two Polar Bears to date. Entire colonies are even now deliberately setting themselves adrift from Greenland so they can gorge themselves on premium Icelandic Penguin and associated by-products.”