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Daily Archives: November 2nd, 2010

Performance Artist Laurie Anderson describes the process of getting her voice synthesizers and experimental electronic musical instruments through Customs at the typical US airport:

“ (Anderson:) I was carrying a lot of electronics so I had to keep unpacking everything and plugging it in and demonstrating how it all worked, and I guess I did seem a little fishy — a lot of this stuff wakes up displaying LED program readouts that have names like Atom Smasher, and so it took a while to convince them that they weren’t some kind of espionage system.

So I’ve done quite a few of these sort of impromptu new music concerts for small groups of detectives and customs agents and I’d have to keep setting all this stuff up and they’d listen for a while

and they’d say: So uh, what’s this?
And I’d pull out something like this filter, and say,

now this is what I like to think of as the Voice Of Authority. And it would take me a while to tell them how I used it for songs that were, you know, about various forms of control, and they would say, now why would you want to talk like that?

And I’d look around at the SWAT teams, and the undercover agents, and the dogs, and the radio in the corner, tuned to the Super Bowl coverage of the war.

And I’d say, take a wild guess.

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‘Language is a virus from Outer Space’ – William S. Burroughs

Cosmic dust contains platinum and iridium, in case you should ever need to know. Certain stars are imploding right now, and it looks like rain. I’ll write you again tomorrow. Regards, Gwendolyn (Gwendolyn MacEwen, ‘The Letter’)

So this Christmas I have booked my male in-laws and myself on a Fishing Charter. My brother-in-law, Bruce, asked if I could also book his Dad on the trip. This I did and then sent Bruce a confirmatory email in the imagined style of a Los Angeles Gangsta Rap gang leader:

Hey Bro.
Da Fishkillas da worst gang in da hood round Double 99 has a drive-by planned and we’s welcomin’ your old man Snoop Fishy Fish Killa dats right dose fish with the fake jacks gonna get laid on their backs and I mean real bad.

Approximate Translation:
Bruce’s Dad has also been booked for the fishing charter.

This is how BabelFish saw it when I translated it into German then French then Greek then back to English

Schlechteste Gruppe DA-Fishkillas DA in DA-Haube the worst team DA-Fishkillas in t o n of hood provided that it doubles the 99 that become rond THERE it corrects a opinion d’? a car that passes the dishes and welcomin your old person Schnüffler-fischartigen of fishes Killa dats fishes of dose with that are forged publications of placement that go, that is placed in his backs us receives also I means the bad truth.

– Barra (Floppy Fish Must Die)

I find this screamingly funny. That means I am normal.