Skip navigation

Category Archives: Oz Culture

(Repost For Christmas. Originally here)

In our place we don’t do Santa.

We have informed the children that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus’s birthday and that Santa is a way people have of remembering the very nice man St Nicholas of Patara who would give presents to poor children for Jesus’s birthday because they had no one to give them presents.

Just The Facts

Objectively this is a factually historically sound precis of the identities of the major personages associated with Christmas and far closer to the truth than the western secular culturally approved Christmas story which is that Christmas is a day when the entirely mythical Santa Claus pilots a team of magic reindeer around the planet and distributes presents to children on the basis of good behaviour, completing his global mission in one night assisted by a team of magical elves.

So on a factual basis my family explanation of ‘Why Christmas?’ beats the objectivity index of the major alternative explanation by about 100-NIL.

Even if you think that Jesus Himself is a myth it is nevertheless true that Christmas Day came into being a celebration of Jesus’s birthday. Yes, yes I know, the actual day was appropriated from a pagan midwinter festival but it wasn’t called Christmas then.

Name That Stereotype

Now if you’re a hard core atheist you despise myths of all kinds so you wouldn’t be wanting to be feeding the children’s minds up with Santa nonsense. You’ll be telling them that Christmas (without the deliberate mis-spelling with ‘X’) is a celebration of the birthday of a mythical person called Jesus ’cause that’s factual, but that in your family Christmas is just about whatever you want to do at Christmas.

And if you’re an agnostic you’ll have no objection to Jesus as a putative historical personage or even as God, so you would have at least no objection to be going with the basic facts about ‘Why Christmas?‘, but you might decide to go with the Santa story because its fun for kids to play make-believe.

I guess the ‘Christmas is about Santa’ story would also be adopted to easy-going or less dogmatic atheists like Julia Gillard, Prime Minister Of Australia, who don’t believe in God but who don’t share the relentless atheist insistence on eliminating Jesus from public consciousness associated with, say, Richard Dawkins, and just like to see the kids get entranced in ‘the magic of Christmas’.

And from personal observation it would also apply to the general Australian public for whom neither Jesus nor atheism nor agnosticism registers at any meaningful resonance.

As far those who believe Jesus is God, such as myself, we obviously want to emphasize that Christmas is about Jesus’s birthday. Some Christian families also integrate Santa into their Christmas Family narrative but in my opinion this makes Christmas worse, not better.

Why Santa makes Christmas Worse

When our kids get a Christmas present they know that Mummy and Daddy have bought it for them, not Santa. So this is tangible evidence that M&D love giving them great stuff, and the greatest stuff that kids get, materially speaking, comes on Christmas Day. Pooh-pooh it if you like but gift-giving is a practical demonstration of love. Why should my kids think that Santa loves them more than M&D ? I think that its a positive for the children that they know that M&D bought them the big shiny bike or the Hot Wheels Trick Tracks Mega-Dino Challenge or the Dora The Explorer magnetic toothbrush with built in compass.

Secondly, the kids express their joy for the gift directly back to M&D and it goes like this WOW! THANKS DAD! THAT IS AWESOOOOMMME! Sorry Santa, you don’t deserve that gratitude since you don’t even exist anyway and I’m sure as eggs not letting you have it. So the M&D’s get to express the full volume of their children’s delight at the Christmas gifts, instead of vicariously filtered via Santa.

Third, we as M&D give Christmas presents to our children because we love them, not on the basis of whether or not they have been good. Our children get validated for who they are, not on the basis of their transitory behaviour. Our children know they do not have to earn the love of M&D unlike that fickle impostor Santa whose favour can at any time evaporate like summer mist.

Fourth, the children get facts not fiction. No matter how you slice it, Santa is made up. A truthful explanation of Why Do We Give Presents At Christmas must include some reference to Jesus, even if He is relegated to myth. Face it, Santa entered the Christmas narrative at some point many centuries after Jesus and doubly so the magic reindeer and elves.

Much as many hate it Jesus IS the ORIGINAL reason for the season and the reason why Christmas exists. Here’s a theoretical question your child may ask:

Child: ‘Mummy, Why DO people go around saying ‘Christmas is a time of peace and goodwill to all men’ ?
Incorrect Answer A: Because Christmas is a time when we get together as a family.
Correct Answer B: Its because that’s what the Angels said to the shepherds on Jesus’s birthday.

Quite simply, an integrated understanding of Christmas requires reference to Jesus.

Fifth, for those who are Jesus-friendly, awarding Christmas to Santa robs Jesus of richly deserved recognition. Americans have a thing called Martin Luther King Day. Contrary to current popular preferential meaning, this does not commemorate the day when Santa led a Freedom march on Washington DC to eloquently demand equal rights for African-Americans assisted by a team of magical elves. I think you get what I mean. Even if you think Jesus is just a man or even just a myth, why not let the kids admire and learn from His example ?

Santa Is Not All Bad

Ejecting Santa from Christmas is not without cost. My kids do miss out on the awestruck wonder of waiting for Santa to visit and some really great make-believe. And yes, my kids are almost the only ones at school who don’t think Santa is real, which can make them seem like Alien Life-Forms to the others who have been fed the 100% guaranteed Santa myth. Ironic that, but it doesn’t seem to lead to teasing.

But even without Jesus, Christmas is better without Santa (see reasons one, two and three above). Of course WITH Jesus there is another kind of awestuck wonder which happens to be based in historical truth, but even if you really wish to persist with Jesus is A Myth, at least you can tell tell the myth that is related to the actual origins of Christmas rather than the one that originated with Coca-Cola Inc.

Driving through Northern NSW today, I switched on the radio, surfed the AM band looking for the ABC and chanced upon the unmistakable cadence of John Laws. I was amazed he was still on the radio. Here’s how it went:

The Ignominious Lalal Tax

Laws: Rolf. What’s on your mind ?
Rolf: John, Islam specifically states that anyone who is not Islam is an infidel and should be beheaded.
Me: Awesome start!
Laws: Yes, I know. But look Rolf, The Bible has beheadings in it too. An eye for an eye and all that.

Within seconds the conversation had entered the realm of hyper-reality. The Koran does not say that infidels should be beheaded. That punishment is reserved for Apostates and for opposing forces during Jihad. And The Bible has no beheadings anywhere. Rolf and John were like two galaxies of ignorance locked in mutual inspiralling orbit. Fascinated and aghast I wondered what horrible energy would be emitted when they finally collided. I dialled up the volume a little more.

Rolf: And Islams have put a Lalal Tax on our food. How can they do that ? Can we take them to the High Court ?
Laws: Eh ?
Me: Stalemate. Laws found Rolf incomprehensible.
Rolf. Lalal. How can Islams do it to us ?
Laws: Oh. Ha. You mean Halal. Rolf, Halal.
Rolf: Yes, Lalal. Halal.
Laws: Well the Tax Officials have decided there can be such a Tax. It’s no different to the Heart Foundation Tick Of Approval. I think we’ve demolished your arguments, Rolf.

Wow. Does Laws really think the ATO have permitted Muslims to levy a tax on Australian food ? This was fantastic. I settled in behind the wheel and dialled up the volume a little more.

Rolf: Are you an Islam, John ?
Me: !!!!!
Laws: Er… No.
Rolf: Then you have to be…
Laws: Beheaded. I know. Thanks for your call, Rolf. [Dumps Rolf]
Laws: Heh, heh. Rolf is a good old bloke, but Lalal !? What can you say heh heh.

I had overestimated the energies of Rolf. Laws had simply consumed Rolf whole and regurgitated him as a mockable titbit.

Pauline Hanson

Laws: Next caller is Anthony. What’s on your mind, Anthony ?
Anthony: Aw, G’day John. I saw Pauline Hanson speak at The Commercial Hotel in Inverell last night. She’s tidy.
Me:  Pauline Hanson! I had hit the Mother Lode !
Laws: Oh yes! She’s a great bird! What did Pauline talk about ?
Anthony: Oh. Er…like…er…cutting immigration and common-sense things like that…and…er…lots of things. I bought her a VB.
Me:  Could this get any better ???
Laws: Oh well. Pauline is a great bird, but she’s a bit extreme on some things you know.
Anthony: She’s got the body of a twenty year-old.
Laws: YES! YES! I KNOW !! SHE’S A GREAT BIRD !!!
Me: Now screaming with laughter I narrowly avoided a head-on with a 26-wheeler Semi. I punched the station co-ordinates into permanent memory.
Laws: [Panting Softly] …but a bit extreme at times. Thanks, Anthony.

Rolf Reprise. Frank Cops A Blast.

Laws: Got a text here from Geoff of Glenn Innes ‘Just went to the supermarket and asked for Lalal Food. [pause] They said they didn’t have any so I informed them I would take their supermarket to the High Court.’
[pause] Heheh Rolf What have you started ? Lalal. Hehehe.

Laws: Now, Frank, stop texting me will you ? You’re just a nark. Malcolm Turnbull’s tax havens and the Panama Papers are COMPLETELY UNRELATED.
[Laws then played a sudden one-second highly amplified blast from his show’s theme music. It cut like a buzz-saw. The effect was curiously psychedelic.]

Laws: Besides which Michael Pascoe from The Australian, a good man, was just with me yesterday saying Malcolm has done NOTHING ILLEGAL.
[Another psychedelic blast]

Me: Confirmation Bias (CB) is the sine qua non of Talkback Radio epistemology as Laws brilliantly demonstrates in just two sentences above. Note how CB also bonds Laws with his audience as they absorb the legitimacy of understanding truth through pre-existing bias and also discover just who can be trusted [The Australian and News Ltd] and who should not be trusted [Frank and other critics of the LNP / Malcolm Turnbull]. This is how Talkback hosts train their audiences how (not) to think. And thus also why Scott Morrison thought that being The Minister for 2GB was worth bragging rights in the LNP Party Room.

Laws: Keep your texts coming 1300-654-813. Steve says ‘Shorten should get out of Canberra, do a pub crawl with Barnaby Joyce and meet some real people for a change. Then maybe he’d have some idea on how to run the country’. That’s good advice, Steve.

Me: My mind reeled at the thought of what kind of manifesto for Australia would emerge from the collective unconscious of the drunken, sexist racists strewn across Joyce’s rural electorate...

Laws: And keep sending the emails to me at THE.FORTRESS@LAWS.COM.AU

Me: …not a particularly welcoming one apparently.

Laws: But always the best way is the phone. Yes, Barry. What’s on your mind ?

Barry: Fruit Bats. They bloody stink. The Quirindi Bicentennial Park is full of them. They foul the ground and strip the trees. They’re just flaming Flying Rats !

Laws: And they’re protected! Yes I know. Look you can’t kill them. But how about blasting off a few shells from a 12-gauge ? The sound should disperse them.
Barry: Yeah, well, I can smell them from the car.
Laws: I recommend a box of 12-gauge. Always worked at our place.

Me: Barry then told a good joke about an Irish bag-snatcher. He’s in the line-up with six other guys, jumps forward and says ‘Yes. That’s her!’ 🙂

Laws: Imagine if you said that about a Muslim ! Thanks Barry. That’s a beauty ! Enjoy your day and get somewhere away from the smell.

Me: Would the Midday News report the apprehension of some maniac in Quirindi Bicentennial Park blasting into the air with a gross of shotgun cartridges ? Crying children ? A SWAT team ?

Local Warming

But I was warming to Laws. The program was a community. They understood and liked each other. They told jokes. It was kind of…nice. And Laws was able to hold nuanced views on Muslims and Immigration. I was feeling reasonably at home in the asylum.

Laws: Jasper. What’s on your mind ?
Jasper: (Lisping heavily) Hewwo John. I have two suggestions for you.
Laws: [Suspicious Pause] Are these suggestions I would enjoy, Jasper ?
Jasper: [Sounding like Christopher Pyne]. Oh yes! I think so !
Laws: [Understandably Cautious] Go on.
Jasper: I am still cowwecting all your Solo Vocal Albums and could you pwease pway more of your own songs on your pwogram pwease ?
Laws: [Brightening Considerably] Oh yes. Sure !
Jasper: And you should visit the Slim Dusty Museum in Kwempsey. I have just been two times. Do you wike it ?
Laws: SLIM. A Great Australian. Do we have anything, Commander-In-Chief ??

With cyborg-like speed, Laws’s producer locates and cues a Slim Dusty track which appears to be entitled G’Day G’Day. In a career spanning seventy years and ninety-seven albums this Slim Dusty Classic is lyrically and musically identical to the first song Dusty penned as a four-year old. Laws can be heard singing and humming along off-mike.

Dusty: …G’Day G’Day G’Day G’Day Ten to one an Aussie will say G’Day G’Day.G’Day G’Day G’Day G’Day Ten to one an Aussie will say G’Day.
Laws: Ah. I’ve always said that song should be our National Anthem.
Me: At least the words will be easy to remember
Laws: It just makes you feel good, doesn’t it !?
Me: I have to agree. It does 🙂

You know what ? I think John Laws broadcasting in rural Australia is a force for good. He is more educated than his audience but relates to them very well. His views on Muslims and Immigration are more nuanced than his listeners and he can thus act as a brake on their more reactionary and bigoted tendencies. He’s a bridge to reason.

But for now, as Paul Kelly said in his [OK maybe not] classic Australian track, Bradman,

Now shadows grow longer and there’s so much more yet to be told
But we’re not getting any younger, so let the part tell the whole

John Laws – I was glad I was there.

You made my morning.

This Christmas just past, my sister and I vocalised some truths about our extended family that were not pleasant. They were real things that we knew and which happened to us. It made Christmas lunch a little bit uncomfortable, a bit tense. But the things we said were true and everyone knew they were true.

When we were children we didn’t say anything because kids don’t get a say much. As younger adults we still didn’t say anything because power still lay with others present and we felt obliged and constrained to keep the status quo out of respect for the unspoken myths and rules of conduct of our family. We knew that what we wanted to say would not be welcomed.

Besides which, there was plenty we enjoyed and loved about our family

Finally as fully-fledged adults in our own right, decades later, we felt like we wanted to say those things that were true, which we knew, which happened to us. We didn’t feel like we wanted to keep on hearing the same myths repeated over and again and we didn’t want to keep some other very important things left eternally unsaid just to satisfy the emotional needs of others.

So we said what we knew to be true. What everyone knew to be true.

It was a bit uncomfortable. A somewhat awkward Christmas lunch.

That’s how Australia Day feels to me. I feel a bit awkward and tense when the Aboriginal people tell confronting truths about my family. I don’t like it. But I know its true.

They’ve had enough. They can’t stomach sitting quietly listening to those same old myths any more. Sitting quietly when everyone knows different anyway. Just listening to those half-truths, so everyone else can feel better and forget about what they really did.

I don’t blame them. When you grow up you have a right to be heard. To take your place at the table. Its not as if Australia is unaware of our atrocities anyway. We should let them speak to us and acknowledge what is true. This very small respect should be granted.

Even if we have to revise our family history.

Did you see the First Dog cartoon ?
Absolutely searing.

Top job, First Dog !

Yeah, so that’s why Australia Day feels like an uncomfortable family Christmas to me.

ABC’s The Drum on 16 July this week had a very good panel including ALP strategist Greg Turnbull, the ABC’s Maurice Benson and Deputy Editor of The Australian Peter Fray.

All of the contributors were excellent, including Fray, who was quite balanced throughout except for his assessment about how impartial and responsible and accountable blah blah blah The Australian is in relentlessly striving for truth, honour and freedom.

I was just a bit taken aback by Fray during the segment on the effect of Clive Palmer’s PUP on the government. Around 16:50 into the programme Fray says that the ALP is using the obstruction engendered by Palmer to claim that the LNP cannot govern. Fray says around 17:05

What I think needs to happen from the Coalition’s point of view we have got to cut through all that rhetoric and get on with business because this country isn’t being governed.

That WE instead of THEY seemed to just blur the distinction between The Australian and the Liberal Party. Look out for some positive reinforcement from The Australian over the next few weeks saying how marvellously effective Abbott, Hockey and Cormann have been.

Or maybe I’m being too conspiracist.

I’ll just have a lie down and take a couple of the red pills, yes the red pills not the blue ones yes the red ones NOT THE BLUE ONES I SAID THE RED ONES UR UR URGH better now

Andrew Blot just called.

The winning distance in Olympic Men’s Long Jump has been in decline since 1968. The cooling trend proves that money spent on Long Jump for half a century is a complete waste, not to mention a self-loathing anti-human Green-Left conspiracy which is destroying the minds of our children.

The data is incontestible

You haven’t pulled down the Christmas tree just yet, have you ?

As the great pseudo-Australian / Fred Dagg / put it:

Star Of Wonder
Star Of Light
Star Of Beauty*
She’ll be right

Star of glory
That’s the story
Following yonder star

Wayne Wilson-Wong agrees

Not Reduced Salt Two Minute Asian Fusion Combo Noodles

What’s with those flamin’ three kings anyway ? Why would you want to follow a star ? And can I just clarify that Magi is not the same as Maggi ?

Beautifully rendered here.

* Disclosure: I have improved the Dagg version by replacing ‘Bewdy’ with ‘Beauty’

Such a policy would constitute a unilateral type of measure that we do not support.
– Marty Netalagawa, Indonesian Foreign Minister 15 July 2013

Rudd got precisely what he wanted from his recent trip to Indonesia, namely an official communique from the Indonesians stating that the Coalition policy of Towback is unacceptable to them.

This comminique was signed by the Indonesian President.

The rejection of Towback is no more than what the Indonesians told Morrison and Abbott back in October last year when Morrison, soundly chastised, admitted as much and then said that the Coalition would commit to prevent refugees entering the entire region of South-East Asia (thus not coming to Indonesia); a policy which could be summarized as Visualising World Peace.

So the Coalition Towback policy has been explicitly rejected at the highest levels of Indonesian government: by President Yudhoyono himself and by Foreign Minister Natelagawa.

But while Rudd has succeeded in outing Indonesia’s rejection of the Coalition’s Towback policy and correctly stated the inevitability of conflict with Indonesia at the diplomatic level (which of course could have ramifications for Cattle Exports or other trade matters), I do not believe that this will transfer votes to Rudd.

Australians could not care less about Indonesia’s preferences, could not care less if Indonesia carries 100% of the refugee burden for our region, could not care less if refugees drown in the Timor Sea, could not care less if all so drowned were women and children and would indeed support a policy of mandatory drowning for asylum seekers.

For a long time I thought that the utter brutality of the Coalition policy would disgust a certain percentage of the swinging voter cohort such that they would abandon the Coalition in revulsion. Even 0.5% would be helpful. But it seems there is no lower limit to the contempt and fear that the electorate will self-justify toward asylum seekers when encouraged to do so by their leaders.

And on reflection, that is the obvious lesson of history in all cultures at all times.
Its what causes sectarian violence and genocide. Its as natural and as palatable as mothers milk.

The Coalition’s belief that it has certainty of a winner on this Indonesia-conflict issue is again confirmed by Scott Morrison in today’s UnAustralian whose headline states Jakarta won’t dictate on boats: Coalition.

Right-thinking people immediately recognize that of course Indonesia will not dictate to us. We, Australia, will dictate to them. Because as our glorious departed Ayatollah former Prime Minister John Howard has famously dictated: we decide who and under what circumstances who comes to Australia – International Law and regional co-operation notwithstanding.

This enunciates a one-way relationship very acceptable to Australians who are not accustomed to co-operating with yellow-skinned persons, particularly in receipt of additional brown-skinned persons to their neighbourhood. Rejection of any request of our Anglospheric ally, the United States is a foolish, security-demeaning and borderline traitorous act. But Indonesia ? Who gives a stuff ? Bomb them if necessary.

Meanwhile Julie Bishop is running the parallel contradictory line that Towback will only be done with agreement of the Indonesians who in any case have privately assured her they are sweet with the idea. Thus the thinking redneck is satisfied by Bishop, while the core constituency and fearful are emboldened by Morrison.

Now Julia Gillard was correctly criticised for her East Timor mega-gaffe , prematurely stating that she would gain approval for an asylum seeker detention centre in that country without having first cleared that policy through the Timorese executive. She relied instead on a single personal phone call with Jose Ramos Horta , the East Timorese president, in which Gillard raised the matter but nothing was discussed or agreed.

For this Gillard was derided as an immature dilletante in foreign affairs, a rather embarrassing school girl out of her depth in the top job.

Unlike Gillard, Abbott does not even have a zero level of acceptance for Towback in Indonesia. Towback has been specifically rejected by Indonesia’s Prime Minister and Foreign Minister. Plainly Abbott’s attitude toward Indonesia is reckless and threatens to disrupt any and all agreements we have with them including Cattle Export.

Abbott coolly destroys whatever is in the way of his ambitions. Being so personally unpopular he can only succeed by dragging opponents down to his level of opprobium as he did with Gillard and Thompson, or by destroying them through legal machinery as he did to Pauline Hanson, Thompson and Slipper (and tried to engineer with Gillard).

Disrupting the successful bilateral relationship with Indonesia (ironically well cultivated by his idol, mentor and predecessor in John Howard) is merely another transient impediment to Abbott’s own success.

A Contrary View

Professor Greg Fealy of the ANU College of Asia and the Pacific School of International, Political and Strategic Studies says that Abbott’s Towback will not imperil the bilateral relationship, indeed that it is absolutely outlandish to think so:

“I don’t think any serious observer would regard that as a likely prospect,” he said, because the Opposition’s policy had two caveats – one being that boats would only be turned back if it were safe to do so; the other being that Indonesia agreed to take boats back

Great. Can someone please quickly tell Scott Morrison that he is not accurately disseminating Opposition policy ? In the meantime Morrison can be judged on his words and so can Abbott who does not correct Morrison, but rather endorses him.

Morrison, Thatcher and Hadley

Just on Scott Morrison, I have been struck (though not smitten) by the similarity in vocal expression between Morrisson and Ray Hadley the Alpha shock-jock of 2GB. Both exhibit the same snarling persona, contemptuous tone and self-righteous manner.

I wonder if Morrison, marketing professional , has Thatcher-like, modelled his presentation on Hadley for better acceptance amongst his target audience of self-identified hard-done-by Western Suburbs decent Australians, decency having the understood connotations of xenophobia and specifically targeted misogyny within the shock-jock mental universe.

Why Morrison, apparently a born-again Christian would choose to project himself as a shock-jock is mysterious to me. I suspect Morrison is concerned about what he perceives as the creeping Islamisation of Australia by strategy of refugee asylum and so feels justified to raise community alarm. Morrison himself denies this motive but I find it otherwise impossible to reconcile his noxious utterances on asylum seekers – for example his citizen-informer policy that asylum seekers are so dangerous they require extra policing and conformity to Mandatory Behavioural Protocols to be supported by the vigilance of decent citizens – with his confession of faith as a Christian and follower of Jesus Christ.

And just on Hadley, I was amazed to learn on Australian Story that Hadley is the dominant figure in Sydney (and therefore we can probably say Australian ) broadcasting, having won his morning rush-hour timeslot continuously for years on end.

I naively though that such a distasteful persona could have only limited appeal and that Hadley was a fringe dweller of acceptance only to those suffering from ravaging hatreds.

Horribly, it appears Hadley is the face and voice of much of Western Sydney and therefore many typical swinging voters.

Mike Carlton, a rival broadcaster and by no means a paragon of nicety himself, describes Hadley’s program as a temple of hatred.

I think he’s nailed it.

From Still Life With Cat:

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behaviour.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone.

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them.

4. Never open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, don’t assault them.

6. Use the buddy system. If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

7. Always be honest with people. Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them that you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

8. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake. If they are asleep or unconscious consent may be difficult to obtain.

9. Carry a whistle. If you’re worried you might assault someone accidentally, you can hand the whistle to the person you’re with so that they can blow it if you do.

As a parent of a kid going though Australian Public School (Government) Primary education I am astonished at the overt social engineering of my children’s minds by the Soft Left controlling the teachers and education unions.

For example, in honour of some United Nations bureaucratic fantasy my children today had to wear an Orange clothing item in honour of Harmony Day which AFAIK has no real- or cartoon-world existence outside of Peppa Pig. In combination with No Waste Wednesday and Ride To School Day, the Jesuitical objective of the Watermelons running Primary School Education is clear: Global Governance + Greenie Recycling + Anti-Carbon.

A balanced curriculum should include Border Protection Day in which Muslim kids are locked outside the school gates for five months or until they contract Mental Illness. This is only fair since as Scott Morrison has pointed out, they are criminally lazy, diseased bludgers who cannot adhere to expected community standards of behaviour. And that’s not Xenophobic. That’s just calling it as it is.

Border Protection Day in conjunction with Mass Over-Consumption Day and Carbon Fuels Appreciation Day would address sorely needed balance in the curriculum, properly educate spawn of illegals about the prevailing Aussie values and support the Mining Industry on which the current and future wealth of the Commonwealth firmly depends.

You know it makes sense.

I never thought I would see a member of the government openly consort with the Opposition while conniving to bring his own leader down. But that’s what Rudd is doing. Three cameos from this week’s media drove it home for me.

On ABC’s Insiders this week Mike Bowers showed footage of a clearly grateful Tony Abbott slapping Kevin Rudd on the shoulders in a friendly, congratulatory manner as he passed Rudd at some function or other. Rudd turns and smiles at Abbott, they shake hands, looking and behaving exactly as Cabinet colleagues would. In my view the whole cameo breathes common purpose.

Bowers put it this way:

MICHAEL BOWERS: David, Alex Ellinghausen took a fantastic series of pictures of Tony Abbott bumping into Kevin Rudd at a function. And you couldn’t say it was set up, but you would have to say Tony knew what he was doing as did Kevin Rudd.

Then, on Valentine’s Day the Liberal Party deluged Rudd during Question Time in Parliament House with chocolate roses (Insiders again has some images) The roses had been given, one to each MP, by veteran Liberal MP Warren Entsch as a friendly Valentine’s Day gesture. The Opposition decided to use the roses as a means of publicly thanking Rudd for his treachery in destabilising Gillard and sent their roses one-by-one, to the nauseatingly obsequious Rudd.

As the roses piled up around him Rudd again looked immensely pleased. Gillard must have been disgusted. It is hard to imagine a more contemptuous insult towards Gillard from the Libs than to publicly thank Rudd for his treachery toward her during Question Time.

Finally, Julie Bishop gave an interview on Sky TV, here recorded in the Sydney Morning Herald, where she basically confessed that Rudd is leaking information to her and stated the reward that Rudd will gain for his treachery, which is the diplomatic post of his choosing under a Coalition government.

Bishop positively preened as she said:

“Over a glass of wine together, we have shared some thoughts”

…and her face had the look of the Intelligence Controller boasting, in not so many words, about the entrapment of her Double Agent. Of the loot being offered for defection, Bishop said

…certainly he has talents and ability and experience in foreign policy that shouldn’t be wasted and I think that former prime ministers usually have a contribution to make.

What Kevin Wants

Rudd’s behaviour is utterly contemptible. For the second Federal Election campaign in a row he is setting out to deliberately disrupt the campaign and deliver government to those nominally in Opposition to him and certainly in Opposition to his colleagues.

It seems merely to be about revenge for Gillard’s knifing of him in 2010 . It’s hard to imagine he would seriously be aiming to return to leadership given the field day the Coalition would have over extremely hostile and negative remarks made about Rudd during their leadership spill of 2012, not least by Treasurer and Deputy Leader Wayne Swan.

Nah. Kev just wants to see them (Gillard and Swan) destroyed.

BUT

Kev being the narcissus that he is, he must just think he can outsmart all of Swan, Gillard, Abbott, Howes, Bishop and the Coalition and leverage off the remaining goodwill in the electorate for him (see Bob Ellis’s great take on it here) and yet again become Prime Minister.

And the Australian Electorate…just possibly they could be saying ‘Hey. We voted for that bugger, so just put him back.’. That would be Very Australian and I kinda like it.

But not Mr Rudd.

Him I do not like.

Update 23 March: Once Twice, Four Times Pictured A Traitor

On 12th March a few more of Abbott’s anti-Carbon Tax decent Australians slouched into Parliament House to yell abuse at Julia Gillard during Question Time. Unsurprisingly, Abbott was photographed hypocritically enjoying the abuse despite his oft and earnest claims to be devoted to the highest standards of compassionate human conduct or whatever. But, pertinent to this blog post, Rudd was photographed enjoying the abuse just as much and smirking about it with facial expression identical to that of Abbott. Insiders has the photography on their vid here from 3:07.

Tryptych plus one: is that a Quadtych ?