Message on T-Shirt
seen in Wynyard train station
during the rush hour
“Haiku Are
Interesting But Do Not Make
Refrigerator”
Flexing My Kigo
Haiku Of The Week tell me: “Great Haiku poems are designed to create strong emotions and within a few short lines evoke a similar experience in the reader to what the poet was expressing.”
and Red Ravine (recommended) says:
“Characteristics of haiku:
Simple, direct, non-metaphorical language
Captures a transitory insight or moment in time called satori or the aha moment
Contains a kigo, an image of nature that evokes a particular season
Contains a cutting or pivot word that turns the movement of the poem
Based on experience, speaks of the common, in the moment, just as it is.”
So:
A blurred T-Shirt
Crystallises through the sweat
Cacking myself stupid
or
A T-Shirt message
Stills Wynyard’s sweaty rush
Cacking myself stupid
Rate me out of 575.
Personally I enjoy the ironic conjunction of Australian boofheadery with traditional Japanese forms, and ‘cacking’ is perhaps unparalleled as a ‘cutting’ or ‘pivot’ word, though perhaps the Kigo is not sufficiently subtle. If this were a wine it would be a McLaren Vale Chalk Hill Cabernet Merlot strained through a Shearer’s Crutching Brush, left standing in Oak for serveral minutes then drunk with gusto and a few snags. Basho would roll in his Cherry Blossoms … and then probably cack himself stupid.
But the T-Shirt, yes it was a ripper. You know who you are.
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